I’m not sorry?

May 7, 2014 Random Ramblings 23

So I’ve been feeling really bad lately and I think the best way to get it out is to write a post about why I’m feeling bad and what I plan to do about that. You see this time last year I was the one watching everyone get ready for BEA. I was the one envious of all the “I get to meet this blogger!!” and “oh my gosh they’re going to have that highly coveted ARC no one else can get!” tweets and post. And to be perfectly honest I was annoyed as hell by all of it! I feel no shame in admitting I unfollowed, muted and all around just sat to the side, green with envy. But this year is different! This year I’m the one tweeting, counting down and doing post about BEA and while I am unbelieveablly excited I haven’t forgotten about how I felt last year.

(Sort of like this)

Kat Sad Face

And this is why I feel somewhat bad. Yes I understand that I can’t personally ensure that everyone gets to go to BEA but I can do my best of trying not to constantly remind people that they’re not going. Maybe I could limit the tweets? Promise not to post ALL the pics while I’m there? Stop with the down to the second countdowns I do at least 3 times a day? But should I really have to? I love this community so much and I love the people I’m lucky enough to interact with on a daily basis. But why do I feel this need to put a lid on my excitement? Since when is it ok to feel bad about being able to do something you’ve worked really hard for and have wanted to do for so long?

I’ve had a few people tweet that they want ALL the juicy details (Pili & Julie!) but I’ve also seen twice as many tweets that go more along the lines of “can you all stop with the BEA post/tweets?! I can’t go and it’s annoying”. And while I know it’s a personal problem that some people can’t go, for reasons I can’t explain I feel like I have this duty to my followers to at least be courteous. But that’s the problem! I feel this duty but on the other hand I just want to record a video of me counting down to BEA and put it on replay because I’m just that excited!! I keep trying to tell myself that I’ll do a huge giveaway to make up for my gushing but that would be like bribing someone for forgiveness, and we all know I’m not that kind of person.

Which brings me to a stand still. Do you guys like/appreciate all the BEA excitement even though you can’t go? Or do you sort of just want to mute all the BEA going folks? Are you going to BEA/Bookcon and have had the same guilty thoughts? Leave your comments below and be honest! This will always be a judge free zone and I really just want to know. 🙂

23 Responses to “I’m not sorry?”

  1. Pili

    I totally wish I could go, and frankly… I don’t mind all the tweets! I’m a bit envious but I plan to live vicariously with your tweets and the rest of my Twitter feed going to BEA in between my own making a million fondant decorations and baking & frosting about 100 minicupcakes for my bestie’s wedding!!
    Sure I have the slight envious “I wish I could go” for BEA, in the same way I get it for when people go to signings and meet with awesome authors (while I had Maggie Stiefvater in Madrid and had to miss a one-in-a-lifetime chance to meet her due to not being able to change my schedule at work) but that doesn’t mean that people can’t share their excitement and their happiness!
    Have a blast and enjoy yourself and tweet everything to Julie & me!! =D
    Pili recently posted…Waiting On Wednesday #41!!My Profile

  2. Amber @ The Mile Long Bookshelf


    *cough* Sorry, I got excited that someone actually feels the same way I do 😛 You shouldn’t have to limit your excitement. Going to BEA is an awesome opportunity so just make the most of it, including the lead up to the event! It’s really not your problem what other people think of your tweets or all BEA tweets in general. I’m personally not annoyed by the BEA tweets because I accepted I wouldn’t be able to go a long time ago (personal reasons and it’s in another country).

    What does make me sad is when I tweet about something cool like getting quoted in a book or something, and I get responses like ‘that’s not fair’ or people saying ‘Lucky you.’ but sarcastically. I get a tiny bit jealous when amazing things happen to other bloggers but I’m mostly really happy for them and I miss the old blogging community where it was acceptable to be excited about something.

    My comment probably doesn’t make sense because I rambled, but that’s just some stuff I’ve been thinking about for a while. Great post! 🙂
    Amber @ The Mile Long Bookshelf recently posted…Mini Reviews: Suzy P and the Trouble with Three by Karen Saunders and Earthbound by Aprilynne PikeMy Profile

    • Pili

      I do understand people feeling a lil envious about other bloggers being on acknowledgements of a book or things like that, but really… shouldn’t we all be happy for others? It is a fantastic thing and you just don’t need to bad karma of not feeling happy for other people’s happiness! It actually is quite cool for me to see names of bloggers I know in books!
      Pili recently posted…Waiting On Wednesday #41!!My Profile

  3. Mishell Baker

    This will be both reassuring and a little insulting, probably… because obviously you’ve had a big change of heart and I have to disagree with one or the other, right?

    My feeling is – other people’s negativity is never, ever your problem. You are feeling positive emotions right now, excitement and joy, and no one should ever have to put a lid on that. The flip side is, same with all the people you unfollowed last year, right?

    I know the bitter pangs of jealousy myself – I feel them any time people talk about hanging out with all their amazing friends (mine are all on the internet and are sadly sparse even so). But the truth is, that jealousy is my problem, not theirs. They shouldn’t have to quit being proud of their awesome posse just because I don’t have one, and on some level I always recognize that even as I cry into my beer and curse my stars.

    That doesn’t mean I won’t unfollow if I get too unhappy with constant selfies at amazing parties, because it’s also my responsibility to avoid things that make me consistently unhappy. But that person I’m unfollowing, wildly popular and surrounded by friends, should in NO WAY be made to feel bad that I don’t have what she has.

    TL:DR – Other people’s lack of control over their negative emotions is NOT YOUR PROBLEM. Joy is rare and vital to living; embrace it fully. 🙂

  4. Katrina @ Bookish Things

    Don’t limit your excitement. It’s freaking awesome that you get to go. I want to see all the fun you’re having. Though I’m not one of those that gets down about not going. It wasn’t even remotely possible for me this year. But with RT being in my backyard next year, you bet your ass I’ll be there. I hope you have a blast and take all the pictures. 😀
    Katrina @ Bookish Things recently posted…Blog Tour: Renegade by Debra DrizaMy Profile

  5. Jessica

    Be excited and post about it! I can understand people being envious, but I find it a little rude for them to actually ask you to stop posting about it. Something awesome and exciting is happening, be happy!!! Others should be happy for you, too ☺

  6. Rachel

    Uh, hello?? *Waves hands in the air* I’m one of those insanely (but not really…ok, a wee bit), jealous people who WISH they could go to BEA (I could, if I won the lottery – different country, no one to go with, blah blah blah). I’d LOVE to go, and if it ever happened I’d die with happiness and excitement and a buzz overload, I’m sure. But, alas, for now it looks like I’ll be stuck in the good oul UK (not even close enough to where premieres, or you know, actual book signings happen…) *sigh*. I’ve had to come to terms with this. This time last year I wasn’t as involved with the book blogging community and didn’t know what I was missing, this year is going to be a little harder. Part of me wants to mute/silence/ignore the BEA posts, and the other part of me keeps peeking through my fingers to see the photos and whatnot because it’s like armchair-BEA. I wouldn’t say I’m not happy for those who are going, just a bit bummed that I can’t. But, I rant for too long, basically you post and tweet away, you’re paying good money and you’re excited, I’ll just go back to huffing in the corner 🙂
    Rachel recently posted…Review: Minutes Before SunsetMy Profile

  7. Julie S.

    Seriously, if people can’t go and they can’t handle the enjoyment of other people, they need to hide from the internet, not you. You should post all your excitement and share all your photos so you can enjoy this event to the fullest, and those of us not going can pretend we’re right there with you.
    Julie S. recently posted…Breakable Review & GiveawayMy Profile

  8. Nikki

    You’ve summed up my feelings about this PERFECTLY. I know of at least one person who has muted BEA things on their Twitter, which I guess works for them, but it still makes me feel kind of bad. How many other people WANT to mute all the BEA talk and get annoyed when people flail about it? I remember my feelings last year were really bittersweet – I wanted to read ALL ABOUT the awesome times people were having, but at the same time I was still pretty green with envy, you know? I think I agree with most people who’ve been saying “just post about it – it’s part of the amazing experience!” But that doesn’t stop me from feeling a little bad at the same time. =S
    Nikki recently posted…Waiting on Wednesday – The Kiss of DeceptionMy Profile

  9. Anya

    In previous years when I wasn’t going, I also wasn’t clued in enough to be desperately wanting any of the ARCs or even really aware of what BEA was, haha. However, I feel your pain since my good real life bloggy friend isn’t able to afford BEA this year since she works at a bookstore, and I actually avoiding mentioning that I was going at all since I didn’t want to seem like I was bragging >.>. I’m conflicted about tweeting/posting during and after though since I got the press badge and that is kind of the point of it right? They are letting me in so that I can publicize what books are coming up and the event itself… Conflict D:
    Anya recently posted…Among Thieves by Douglas Hulick {4.5 Stars}My Profile

  10. Nikki @ The Paper Sea

    I can’t go afford to go to BEA, as much as I want to, but that doesn’t mean I get to tell you to censor your excitement! If you were being cruel about it, then sure, you’d be in the wrong, but you aren’t. In my opinion, it’s all on everyone else to avoid BEA talk if they know it causes them too much stress and jealousy. There are so many ways to do that, but censoring others isn’t one of them?
    Nikki @ The Paper Sea recently posted…WoW (28): Since You’ve Been GoneMy Profile

  11. La La in the LiBrArY

    OMG, for heavens sake, I want to KNOW ALL!!!! I came a little to late to the game to be able to plan (and save) for a BEA trip, but I am excited to hear about it!! There are plenty of things others get to do that we don’t depending on where they live (in or near big cities that have alot of book signings/on a different coast), so I say tweet away, especially once you get there.
    La La in the LiBrArY recently posted…NEWS ALERT!!!! Ensnared cover information…My Profile

  12. Jess @ Literary, etc

    You don’t have to feel sorry about going to BEA. No blogger should feel that they have to censor their excitement, etc. It’s no different from someone going to Italy and talking about it non-stop. You worked hard to make that trip to BEA happen and shouldn’t feel any shame. And as for coveted ARCs, they are what they are. I know it sucks having to wait to attend things, etc, but honestly I do feel that if you want to make something you try it. I was hoping to attend BEA this year, but I couldn’t take off since 3 important people are out that same week. Though next year, I’ll be at RT and if I swing BEA then I will.

    BTW: Could I email you a list of ARCs that if you come across you might be able to snag if you have time? I’ll pay for their shipping. No biggie if you can’t. 🙂
    Jess @ Literary, etc recently posted…Book Review: Kendel Lynn’s Whack JobMy Profile

    • Octavia

      Of course you can!! Shoot me an email and I’ll try my bestest for you hun! 🙂 And thanks for the kind (and completely true) words! I know it’s not my fault if someone is upset but I couldn’t help feeling just a tad guilty.

  13. Kelly

    Don’t ever let the jealousy of others limit your excitement for something you’re genuinely excited for. I really can’t be bothered with all things BEA, so I just avoid those kind of posts/Tweets. It’s really not hard to move on once I realize the topic is BEA, and if one day my Twitter feed is full of all things BEA? I pick up my book and turn Twitter off.

    Don’t get yourself down about other people’s hang ups!
    Kelly recently posted…Top Ten Book Covers I’d Frame As Pieces of ArtMy Profile

  14. Scott Pilgrim

    I have the same dilemma. Do I spam Twitter with my excitement and BEA excitement? Do I make tons of posts about BEA? I don’t think there’s a real answer, I’m going to continue talking about BEA but I still feel kind of bad :/
    Scott Pilgrim recently posted…Waiting On Wednesday #43My Profile

  15. Laura Plus Books

    Sometimes it is a little saddening but to be honest I don’t mind that much. I understand that if I put myself if your shoes (or anyone else’s) I’d totally feel that way too! It’s very easy for people to get hurt and sometimes one person’s happiness will be another person’s misery. It’s the sad fact of life. 🙁 I just get a little annoyed when people have extremely long who conversations on Twitter. I mean like HUNDREDS of tweets. And when it’s between two people raving about something that not everyone is involved in, I just wonder why they can’t just DM.
    Laura Plus Books recently posted…Comment on Stacking The Shelves #33: Massive April Book Haul by Laura Plus BooksMy Profile

  16. Shannon

    Hope you don’t mind if I just reiterate what others have said: I’M TOTALLY DEVASTATED THAT I DON’T GET TO GO TO BEA and definitely a little jealous of those who do….but in no way does that make me less happy for those who do get to enjoy the experience, especially first-timers like you! I think just the fact that you’re being conscious about how others are feeling says a lot about you as a person (you know, that you’re WONDERFUL and all)…and that means a lot. There do seem to be some who aren’t celebrating that they’re going as much as they are celebrating that they’re going and others are not. Those are the ones that I won’t hesitate to unfollow. It’s one thing to be happy and excited because something awesome is happening in your life, another completely to be hateful towards those less fortunate than you.

    I hope you have tons of fun and think of me at least once while you’re there!

  17. Megan Nicole

    I can’t go to BEA & I’m totally jelly of you!!

    Sometimes it does suck when my twitter feed is ALL about BEA, it makes me depressed because I’m stuck here and never get to go to those type of events. BUT at the same time, I still do like to read all about it. I consider it my recon. One day I will go to BEA and I’ll know all the secrets from people who shared their experiences. Plus I know if it was me going, I’d want to shout it from the rooftop. So I don’t mind tweets and I want to know all the juicy details!

    I am happy for you! Bring home those coveted ARCs, stalk the authors, and have lots of fun!
    Megan Nicole recently posted…#Review: Drowning Instinct by Ilsa J. BickMy Profile

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