Stop & Chat


Happy Sunday you beautiful people you! I figured it was time we sat down and had a talk about why the big mean Octavia hasn’t replied to your goodreads friend request, twitter follow back request or “follow my blog” request. Believe it or not, it’s not because I’m an evil woman who enjoys laughing at your social attempts. I’m not shallow or completely evil, and I have plenty of reasons I promise!


Twitter is my obsession. I check it and I’m on there way more than any normal person should be. That being said, please understand that I don’t want my feed to be all giveaway tweets, or drama tweets, or whiny tweets. When I first started my twitter account I followed everyone that followed me and do you know where that got me? Spammed by authors I had no intentions of exploring (clown erotica?!) and just an extra follower for someone else. This is why I require people to actually ENGAGE in conversations with me before I follow back. It’s nothing personal. I just would like for the people I follow to actually want to converse with me.


In my goodreads bio there is a bold font section that says “READ BEFORE FRIENDING”. Seriously:

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Again, I don’t say/do this to be evil. I’ve accepted a friend request and then was immediately messaged with “review my book/I just completed my first book/If you like [insert genre here] then you’ll like my new book!”. Oh and let’s not forget the “join my group!/I see you have the Significance series, can I borrow it?” messages. I get a lot of spam and nonsense on twitter, Facebook, my blog and email. I seriously don’t want nor will I tolerate it on Goodreads. I appreciate that people want me to review their books, but your book is a BUSINESS. So how about we keep it classy and approach the topic of reviewing said book, business like? Ok? Thanks.

Bloglovin’/GFC/Feedly/Mail Subscriber

This one may make a few folks upset but it must be said! Leaving a comment that says “I like your blog, come like mine” is a deal breaker for me. If I walked into your front door said “your house is pretty” them immediately made you come to my house so you could compliment it wouldn’t you think I was rude? I really do appreciate you visiting in the first place, and I love connecting with new people but I value quality over quantity. If you’re not a genuine follower please please PLEASE stop with the “I’m following your blog with bloglovin, follow mine here” messages. It’s rude and not the best way to get someone to notice you. Instead, maybe log on to twitter and say hi? Or possibly shoot me an email if that sort of public exchange freaks you out. Shoot, send up smoke signals! Just do not give me the “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours” speech. It is not ok.

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Which brings me to this week’s question! Do you auto follow people on twitter/goodreads/bloglovin? If so why? If not, what are your rules to following back?

20 thoughts on “Stop & Chat! ~ Why I ignored your friend or follow request ~”

  1. Hey Octavia,

    I can completely understand where you are coming from and I don’t think you are being mean at all.

    To answer your question – yes I do auto follow everyone but that is because I am new to this online bookish social medianess. I only started book blogging in January and I started a twitter account to go along with my blog, and I still have no followers on my blog and just a few twitter followers (mostly authors). When I do get to a decent number of friends and followers, then I will probably start being more consertive with my follow backs.

    Have a good week πŸ™‚
    Natalie Johnson recently posted…Sunday Post: Weekly Wrap-UpMy Profile

  2. You have to do what works for you Natalie! πŸ™‚ And don’t focus on the numbers (easier said than done?)! You’ll find a grove, people will start to find you and APPRECIATE you and the numbers will be just that. Numbers. I wish you luck and welcome to the book blogging world. πŸ˜€

  3. I’m very much bothered by random people and their friend requests on Goodreads… even more when I don’t know how they ended up stumbling upon me… I really need to add a question and then I’ll feel even more free to ignore random people I don’t seem to have anything in common with!
    Pili recently posted…Saturday Pages: Fire & Flood by Victoria Scott!!My Profile

  4. It’s creepy right?! I mean I could see if you saw that we had a lot of books in common and thought we’d make great friends but to just randomly see someones profile and say “BFF FOR LIFE!” it’s just weird lol! And I highly suggest the challenge question! Mine’s is just “what’s your favorite book we have in common? It could be read or on your TBR”. It doesn’t prevent all spam but it’s a great start. πŸ™‚

  5. Ha ha!! Octavia, I love you more and more. I don’t follow everyone who follows me on Twitter either, and I hardly have any followers. I too only want to see things pertinent to my life. I also don’t want to see tweets and retweets about books in genres I never read. When I first got on Twitter I followed a bunch of random book blogs directly with my book blog, but just recently cleaned house of all the exclusively Contemporary YA and YA Romance blogs. Nothing was wrong with those blogs, or bloggers, I just generally don’t read either of those types of books and they were clogging up my feeds. I also unfollowed one blog whose blogger complains ALOT and gives bad reviews to books she wasn’t savvy enough to understand. So, yeah, I am completely in your corner.
    La La in the LiBrArY recently posted…SUMMER ON THE SHORT BUS – APRIL FIRSTMy Profile

  6. Aww shucks! Thanks hun! I figured it was time we all sat down and had this discussion. I get so annoyed by seeing nothing but giveaway tweets from any one account and I don’t really think that’s what blogging is about anyway. It should be about book nerds (and other folks of course) sharing their like passions!

  7. I went to update my progress on Shadow and Bone, which is looking to be a rare 5 star rating from me, and the “complains A LOT” blogger gave it two stars!!!!! She is lucky I unfollowed her blog. Lol. I still might have a comment to make on Goodreads, though. I should have predicted that because if a book doesn’t have dirty talk, and slam you up against the wall making out, she usually gives it a bad rating.
    La La in the LiBrArY recently posted…This BLOG Post was HiLaRiOuS!!!! “… said the mysterious new boy at school.” QUIRK BOOKS.My Profile

  8. I definitely screen, especially on Goodreads… which is why I let them stack up, I visit all of them and make sure we have similar reading tastes before I add them. Twitter I only follow back if they seem interesting or we hit it off in a chat or something. πŸ™‚ Love your Chat posts btw. And I never ever think you’re mean, just honest.
    Kristen recently posted…Graphic Novel Review: Hidden: A Child’s Story of the HolocaustMy Profile

  9. I tried letting them stack up once and I hated seeing that little bubble number in the corner! So know when I see I check and see if they answered the challenge question. If no then I deny immediately if yes then I go and investigate. And thank you! I know sometimes print can’t convey tone and I’d hate to offend someone when I really wasn’t trying to. πŸ™‚

  10. I cringe a bit when I look back at my young blogging self and remember posting comments asking people to follow me because I followed them… I just thought that was the norm since I had seen that on my blog D: But I’ve learned obviously, ahah. I get confused about the Goodreads friend requests because I have a challenge question, but rarely do people actually submit an answer, even when I look and realize they are legit. Isn’t it not supposed to let them submit the request if they don’t write something??
    Anya recently posted…The Shadow Prince by Bree Despain eARC {2 Stars}My Profile

  11. I think at one time we all did this! I remember being so hell bent on getting lots of followers that I was doing more meme in a week than reviews! All so I could go down that long linky list and visit every blog. But not to see what the usually review but to say “I stopped by so stop by mine now”. πŸ™ Happy I stopped that craziness sooner rather than later.

  12. I don’t autofollow anyone. I have to see something on your blog for me to want to add you to my reader, otherwise my feed would be full of giveaways and promos and stuff I have no interest in.

    I do the same thing on GR. I will not accept your friend request if you don’t answer my challenge question; it’s a challenge question for a reason, right?
    Kelly recently posted…Reading Challenges Update #1My Profile

  13. That’s how I feel! And it annoys me so much when someone doesn’t answer the challenge question when it’s in huge bold letters on my profile.

  14. YES OMG YES! Why do people feel the need to be so rude online and blatantly spam you!! No I don’t follow back everyone. I do follow back more on twitter than I do elsewhere, because I set up lists for important people and I don’t care what other crap is in my main newsfeed. I did the same on GR. I’ll friend people if they request it, but I have a top friends feed, and everyone else gets lost in their own world. I think if you’re a good person and interact with the person you’re following, they’ll want to follow you back. Asking for it is just rude and sounds desperate.
    Julie S. recently posted…Chat Between Chapters: What constitutes New Adult? Is it really a new genre?My Profile

  15. You have a point. I don’t follow or add people right away. Sometimes, I check their accounts feeds before I hit the “accept” button. This reminded me that I need to clean up my Goodreads friend list too. Some of them are inactive already
    Irish recently posted…Book Review: Shatter MeMy Profile

  16. Good for you! I definitely don’t do follow-backs…ever. I have specific criteria for exactly why I would choose to follow somebody on all my platforms β€” Twitter, Bloglovin’, and Goodreads. I don’t want my feeds clogging up with stuff I’m not interested in, so I make an effort to only follow people that I’m going to be interested in keeping up with, for a multitude of my own personal reasons. I think it’s ridiculous for somebody to ever expect a follow-back. Umm…no. You follow people because you WANT to follow them, not because you want to get something out of it in return. Imagine if that’s how people conducted their actual lives in the real world? Crazy.
    Miranda @ Tempest Books recently posted…Do You Look at a Blogger’s Description Box? {Discussion}My Profile

  17. YES!!! I used to accept anyone that friend requested me on Goodreads (I was a noob ;D) way back when, and I ended up with over 1,000 friends and a bunch of crap in my feed as well as many spammy requests. I went on a giant deleting spree and now I have less than 200. But now I can actually USE my Goodreads feed to find books and connect with people over them. Which is what it should be used for! I have a friend request question, too, and I state on mine that unless we have VERY similar tastes in books, I won’t add them. People STILL request without bothering to look at it. I almost always click “ignore.”
    And yes to the whole “I followed you…come follow me” thing…that drives me bonkers!! That’s an automatic no in my book. It’s rude, and annoying, and when someone says that to me they’ve just guaranteed that I will never follow them. When they express interest in my blog, or engage in conversation, THAT’S when I’ll go visit theirs.
    Jessi @ Novel Heartbeat recently posted…Review: House of Ivy and Sorrow by Natalie WhippleMy Profile

  18. I should probably jump on the Twitter bandwagon, huh? I have a person one, but I rarely use it, which is why I haven’t set one up for the blog. I guess I should if I want to participate in the Book Series Challenge chat coming up! Anyway, I COMPLETELY understand your reasons, and I don’t think it’s proper for someone to expect you to follow them just because they follow you.

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