Oh it’s been too long since I’ve spoken to you lovelies! I’ve missed you so but this will not be the post that catches you up on whats been going on with me. I hate to say it but this post, while coming from a good place, is not full of rainbows and kittens.

Whaaaaaaat

 

I would say sorry but I actually believe in a little tough love.

As you know I’ve been out of the blogging loop since I left Georgia last month. Yes I occasionally get to roam twitter for a few minutes a day but since that uses my cell data I don’t really get that luxury often. But on those few occasions where I have roamed twitter I have been absolutely appalled by some blogger behavior.  I’m not pointing anyone out specifically but I feel like we all need to sit down for a second and remember that books are a privilege. That blogging is a CHOICE. I have seen so many tweets with people complaining about getting 6 ARC’s last week but none this week. I’ve seen tweets where people are blatantly going to an author they’ve never conversed with and asking demanding ARC’s and finished copies because “I’m a blogger”. I understand having an author as a CLOSE friend and asking ON OCCASION if you can have a review copy but these haven’t been the cases I’ve seen. I’ve seriously seen people tweet an author “hey I’m a blogger & want to review Book2 but need Book1. Can you send me one?”. Forget the “hi my name is..” they jumped straight to the “give me free stuff!” part!  We, as bloggers, ARE NOT entitled to free stuff. We, as bloggers, DID NOT start blogging for free stuff. And we as bloggers need to get off that damn pedestal and get these thoughts out of our (I use that word very loosely) heads.

Next up can we discuss how HORRIBLE cliques are? I don’t know about you but middle school was hell for me. I was smart but not smart enough to fit in with the smart kids. I didn’t have the cool clothes or shoes or hair to hang with the cool kids. And even though I went to a performing arts school and was musically “gifted” I wasn’t a prodigy or anything so I definitely didn’t fit in with the talented kids. But as time went on and I grew into my own skin I made it to high school threw up my middle fingers and said goodbye to the cliques. I refuse to say hello to them again at 24 years old. Nope. Not going to happen.

Hell to the nizzo

 

We all know that drama within the blogosphere is inevitable and unfortunately a way of life. There is absolutely nothing I can say or do to change that fact. But can we all take a second to look at how hypocritical the drama is? You complain that “X” said/did something offensive and you’re going to address it. Then “X” defends themselves and you go off and do the EXACT same thing that “X” did to offend you in the first place! It’s a vicious and stupid cycle of “I’m offended that you’re offended”. Sometimes, yes SOMETIMES, I get that people can say/do things that are inappropriate in your eyes but you getting pissy and grabbing all of your blogger friends to tear that person apart only makes everyone look stupid, and I say this from experience.

Book bloggers are quick to band together in the event of plagiarism or YA bashing or author bashing but we are just as quick to join a mob to lynch one another. Of all the nerdy groups out there BOOK NERDS should be the least confrontational. We love books, we love exploring new worlds and sharing that love with other people. We should know better than anyone what a little hate and anger can do to people. Again I’m not talking about anyone specific since I have thankfully missed most of the drama but I have had numerous friends vent to me about the latest gang ups and it makes me sick. And annoyed….More annoyed than anything to be honest. At the end of the day, no matter where we are or what we do we are all people. We all feel and think (sometimes) and bleed. And we all make mistakes and do stupid things.

I really just wish we could also just sit down in Belle’s library with a lifetimes supply of Nutella and GET ALONG. And if you can’t get along maybe just hit the block button and wipe your hands clean. Sometimes that block button is the best course of action and if we all used the damn thing more often maybe our twitter feeds would be more rainbows and kittens?

Now mama’s sorry she had to hit you with that kind of love but I know y’all can take what I’ve written in this letter. I still love (most of) 😉  you and I can’t wait till I’m back to posting more often but until then take this post and think carefully about how you act and what you say to others.

-Octavia

29 thoughts on “Dear Bloggers…An open letter”

  1. I can’t believe that some people say that! I know I’ve seen one or two tweets about that but I have never know it was this bad. I can’t believe they’re being so greedy! My god. I’ve heard horror stories about this when I briefly worked at a pub but I thought it was only exaggeration.

    I know about the cliques that you’re talking about and I wish it wasn’t so but unfortunately it does happen. I agree that we shouldn’t be posting rants and playing the blame game. TBH, I didn’t even want to post my Authors Behaving Badly but I couldn’t help myself. People also need the right to know. I did leave out who said authors are so it’s not particularly out there but still. Sometimes I can’t help it when authors do something that I feel so wrong about.

    Oh and I’ve definitely used that block button already. Thank you Twitter!

    Thank you for writing this Octavia, for being so open and honest. I believe that we all should be happy book nerds in Belle’s library too 🙂 xoxo
    Giselle @ Book Nerd recently posted…Book Haul Unboxing: Book Nerd Mail #61 – The Cress EditionMy Profile

  2. Excellent post. As an author, I appreciate the work of bloggers, but all the things you’ve said happen way too much. And as a nerd, I can’t understand how people can be so divisive, but I suppose it’s like anything. When you’ve been the outcast and suddenly you have some power, it can go to people’s heads.

    🙂

  3. Ugh! I hates the drama! I hates it! That’s why I hide from it and try not to get involved. It sucks that your precious twitter time had to be consumed by junk like that. Hopefully everything is going alright in your world!
    Megan recently posted…Stacking the Shelves (4)My Profile

  4. THANK YOU!! Holy hell you have no idea how much I’ve wanted to say this! I hate..no I loathe the drama that flares up on Twitter. It honestly reminds me why I’m not a social person and why I rarely bother becoming friends with anyone. I’ve said the same exact thing about book nerds during this last drama-induced hissy fit. You would never think book nerds could be apart of so much drama, but here “we” are picking fits and ganging up on the people who give us our hobby. I’ve noticed that it’s a lot of time same people who immediately jump into the drama while the rest of us carry on or get offline. Everyone is entitled to an opinion but no one deserves to be bullied. It’s like they haven’t ever heard of being the bigger person in a situation. If someone doesn’t like your review you shrug that crap off and move on, block them if needed but move the hell on. If someone doesn’t like your book move on, there are people who don’t like a lot of things it doesn’t change who you are or that you’re a published author.

    I’ll admit to saying I miss “book mail” but it’s mostly because I just miss opening my mailbox or door and going “OMG books!” and then promptly telling my dog while she helps me opening…My life is boring I have to find entertainment somewhere, lol. However I’ve seen the same behavior you’re talking about and it makes me sick. You’ll never catch me complaining about the amount of books I’m sent, because frankly I’m just happy to have people sending me books. That is a privilege I never expected to have and I’m not going to make myself into a spoiled brat because suddenly there is a week without books. I can’t even read my review copies that fast and I know damn well most of them can’t either.

    *sighs* Sorry to rant in response to your rant, lol! It’ s just frustrating. I do hope you’re doing well! I haven’t had a lot of Twitter time lately so I’ve missed you when you’re online.
    Michelle @ In Libris Veritas recently posted…Blog Tour Review: City of Scars by Steven MontanoMy Profile

  5. Ugh, the clicks… No way no how am I, at 30 years old, going to waste my time and energy trying to worm my way into those. Not happening. I would rather have few or no book friends than jump through flaming hoops to get them.

    I do see a lot of drama on Twitter, it’s just a huge waste of energy for everyone involved and awkward for everyone scrolling past!

  6. I haven’t been part of the “english book blogging” world for long => haven’t come across any of that yet. Funny thing is: it’s just the same with german book bloggers.

    Somehow there is always some drama and suddenly everyone has to say something about it, even if they don’t even know the blogger/author/… who’s talked about. I mostly just stay away from it and try not to get involved.
    Crini recently posted…Flashback: 01/23/14 – 02/09/14My Profile

  7. Forgive me for drawing on my Southern baptist roots, but amen. It’s really saddened me lately. One thing I liked so much about the blogging community when I joined it was how much everyone appeared to get along. And lately I’ve been wondering if it’s just like any other group of people. That’s alright and all. I’m not going to hate them for it. It just disappoints me.
    Kelsey recently posted…White Space by Ilsa J Bick ReviewMy Profile

  8. YES! Seriously, what is with all this bad behavior? Why do people forget manners when they are on the internet? I am just APPALLED at the way bloggers are going up to authors and demanding free stuff. That is beyond rude. We do this because it is something we enjoy, not because we expect some payout. Ugh.
    Julie S. recently posted…Lord of Thunder reviewMy Profile

  9. OMG! I always thought that the american/english bloggosphere was a little different than the spanish bloggosphere, but I can see that it isn’t.

    I can’t believe that some people say thing like that! I always have been thought that be a blogger is like a hobby, but many bloggers take this like a competition for have books free and a lot of followers more than the other bloggers. That’s sad! 🙁
    Patricia recently posted…Iris, flores de ceniza de Maurizio TemporinMy Profile

  10. I completely agree with this! We as book bloggers need to remember that our primary focus isn’t getting free books but spreading our bookish opinions. And also, as much as we are suppose to love books, we should be some of the biggest contributors to the market therefore buying most of our books. You made a lot of great points and I really appreciate you posting this! 🙂
    Lindsey recently posted…Friday Favorites: Favorite Children’s NovelsMy Profile

  11. *nods head* I’ve been less frequent online just because of all the not so fun vibes I’ve been getting on Twitter these days. I’m approaching 4 years of doing this, and while there’s ALWAYS been issues, I have never seen the blogosphere like this ever..when it comes to the entitlement, the drama, the getting offended over the drop of a hat, etc. It’s SO frequent and all the time now. I was talking to another blogger who has been doing this about the same amount of time as me and we both feel there has been some sort of shift at some point in time, and we can’t pinpoint, where it just started feeling veryyy different in terms of the more bad things popping up. I feel like along the way the FUN aspect of this got buried for some people and everyone got so serious about things or something. Not EVERYONE because I’m certainly having a good ol time in my corner as are other people I’m sure but there’s just a shift…and it’s hard to explain it. Just something that is felt. SIGH. I’m with you on us all setting up camp in Belle’s library with a lifetime supply of Nutella. I mean, I take what I do serious in the fact I value what I’m doing/saying/putting out there but this is fun and really about connecting to other readers for me. Sure, I love the opportunities I’ve gotten through blogging but this is just something I do for enjoyment.
    Jamie recently posted…Faking Normal by Courtney C. Stevens | Book ReviewMy Profile

  12. The drama and entitlement is one of the biggest reasons I avoid Twitter. I love Twitter, but it’s such a cesspool of hate sometimes, that it gets overwhelming!

    Hopefully this is all just a bad phase and if we tough it out, the people who choose to blog/act this way will grow tired and move on to the next big thing. Then the rest of us civilized folk can eat out Nutella and get back to talking about BOOKS!

    😀
    Kelly recently posted…Book Review: Shatter MeMy Profile

  13. Yikes! This happens? I haven’t had internet for a few days so I guess I missed this. I think of authors and publishers as a higher authority and the closest I go to them is NetGalley. It’s shocking and unappropriate to this! 😮

    Hmm, I have avoided drama on Twitter from the beginning and its actually worked! I think as readers, we are more empathetic to others and don’t judge before we find out more. Surprising to see that isn’t true in most cases.
    Blogging now seems like a competition to many. “The views! The comments! The ARCs! I need them all!!!” sort of a situation.
    I am ready to share my nutella too(and I never share) to calm all this down.

  14. Yikes! This happens? I haven’t had internet for a few days so I guess I missed this. I think of authors and publishers as a higher authority and the closest I go to them is NetGalley. It’s shocking and unappropriate to see this happen! 😮

    Hmm, I have avoided drama on Twitter from the beginning and its actually worked! I think as readers, we are more empathetic to others and don’t judge before we find out more. Surprising to see that isn’t true in most cases.
    Blogging now seems like a competition to many. “The views! The comments! The ARCs! I need them all!!!” sort of a situation.
    I am ready to share my nutella too(and I never share) to calm all this down.
    lillian recently posted…That Living With Boys SituationMy Profile

  15. Luckily I haven’t come across these types of bloggers (or not that I’m aware of anyway). It seems like some of them think that being a blogger means you have the right to demand ARC’s and confront authors with it. I’m sure most authors don’t even have a say in who receives an ARC of their book? Or am I wrong? Anyway, I think you’ll find this ‘kind’ of people in every community whether it’s the book bloggers community or even amongst a group of colleagues at work. There’s always going to be that one person that feels entitled to demand special treatment or thinks it’s okay to be rude… :/
    Kaylie recently posted…Thoughts on blogging, booktube, etc.My Profile

  16. Luckily I haven’t come across this kind of blogger (or not that I’m aware of anyway). It seems that these bloggers think they have a right to demand ARC’s from authors without thinking this through. I don’t even think authors have a say in who receives and ARC of their book? Or am I wrong? Anyway, I think you’ll find this ‘kind’ of people in every community whether it’s the book bloggers community or just amongst colleagues at work. There’s always that one person that feel entitled to demand a special treatment or thinks it’s okay to be rude… :/
    Kaylie recently posted…Thoughts on blogging, booktube, etc.My Profile

  17. I cringe when I see bloggers demand books. It puts the author, who is trying to build a fan base, in such an awkward position. It doesn’t take a genius to know that authors don’t have an unlimited stock pile of books to throw around. And if they did, why would they want to? They are business people trying to make a living off their hard work, and they can’t pay their bills if they give away everything for free. We all expect to get paid for our work, and authors are no different. Why some bloggers can’t understand that concept is a mystery to me.

    As for the Twitter nonsense, yes, it is the same people over and over. It seems it has become their shtick. I can’t believe that people REALLY get that worked over nonsense, and the fact that one of them actually bragged last year about increased pageviews after some ridiculous, self-manufactured “drama” seems to confirm that. I don’t think there are cliques; there is a handful of bloggers who do this stuff, but the majority of bloggers ignore it. The best thing we can do to curb this behavior is to ignore it. Don’t give them the attention they are seeking. If they scream and shout and point fingers on Twitter and one engages them, they may learn that they need to find some more effective ways to get pageviews.
    Stephanie @ Inspiring Insomnia recently posted…Review: Cinder by Marissa MeyerMy Profile

  18. Drama is bad. It is like when one blogger posts about another blogger on their own website, tearing them apart and continuing the drama. I can’t remember where I saw such a post.
    Oh yeah, it was on your own blog.

    Just pointing that out.

  19. Could that be why in this post I say “I know this from experience”? Hmm, yes I do believe that’s exactly why I wrote it. This post was meant to point out all OUR mistakes as bloggers. So please take your judgement and your negativity elsewhere hun because I am so over it.

  20. Eh, most of the drama happens before I get online (I’m nocturnal). There was an incident I witness a couple weeks ago and I urged my twitter buddy that it wasn’t worth her time to keep going with this drama-loving guy. My twitter buddy wasn’t at fault, but when it keeps going…both parties look less and less immature.

    Drama happens and some of it we can’t avoid. I really hate the people that seem to thrive on drama. There’s a few on my Twitter and I think I have one GR friend still that is a magnet for it…but I like her reviews too much to defriend. However, there’s been several people that I quietly unfollow because it seems like they enjoy the negative attention.
    Lizzy recently posted…Book Review: A Brief Eternity by Paul BeaumontMy Profile

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