Real by Katy Evans

I received this book for free from Publisher in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.

This book may be unsuitable for people under 17 years of age due to its use of sexual content, drug and alcohol use, and/or violence.
Real by Katy EvansReal by Katy Evans
Series: Real #1
Published by Gallery Books on September 3rd, 2013
Genres: New Adult
Pages: 266
Goodreads

HOT. SEXY. POWERFUL. PAINFUL. REAL. The scorching international bestseller that strips away everything you’ve ever believed about passion . . . . 

Remington Tate has a bad-boy rep in and out of the ring, a granite-hard body, and a raw, animal power that sends his female fans into a frenzy. But from the moment their eyes lock, the only woman he wants is Brooke Dumas. His desire is pure, all-consuming, and REAL.

Hired to keep his perfect body working like a machine, Brooke finally has the lucrative sports therapy job she’s been dreaming of. But as she tours the dangerous underground fighting circuit with Remy and his team, Brooke’s own body becomes alive with the most primal of hungers. If what happens between Brooke and Remy is ever as light as a flirtation, it quickly becomes an erotic obsession for them both, and promises so much more.

But their white-hot lust has a dark side—and when Remy’s deepest secret comes to light and Brooke’s familial duties demand action, will the pair be able to hang on, or will everything that once seemed so real suddenly fade away like an illusion?

Print

 


I’ve rewritten this damn review 4 times over the past 2 days and I’m tired. Real was a book that had me dying laughing within the 1st 30 pages, and I feel it’s only right to reenact my thoughts and feelings in gifs. But not ordinary gifs! The funniest of the funny, so stay tuned my loves, and grab that popcorn.

So Real is the story of this chick named Brooke who is still recovering from a horrific injury that cost her, her shot at the olympics. Very boo-hoo, I’m still raw from being robbed of my dream six years ago. So, Brooke’s friend convinces her to go to this “underground” boxing match for this guy who is basically sex reincarnated. A man so damn sexy he made Brooke actually yearn for him…deep down in her belly. A man so fierce and talented, that with one look Brooke about ruined her proper little panties just watching him fight. Who is this man, you ask? Well he is Remy, and this review is all about his and Brooke’s “relationship”. You see Brooke wasn’t the only one to have an invisible party in her pants at the sight of Remy. Up in the ring all sweaty, covered in blood and beating the snot out of some smuck, Remy spotted Brooke in a crowd of hundreds, dressed in a very proper and professional pencil skirt, blouse and bun. You know, the complete opposite of the women who are holding  the “I’m Remy’s #1 Bitch” signs are wearing. It went something like this:

KHart distracted

But of course he was in the middle of a fight so, his couch was like this

KHart Concentrate

But Remy is so fabulous, he knocked out the guy he was fighting and chased Brooke (who had walked out because she had destroyed her panties). This is where things get interesting. See Remy chases Brooke down a hallway (because that’s normal) he then grabs her arm and demands to know her name. Now, personally I would have been all like

KHart put your hands on me

Yeah, I know he didn’t mean it in a threatening way, but sweetheart you DO NOT grab a woman who is walking away from you. Under any circumstance.

So this is where things get spoilery so I’ll tip toe to preserve your experience.

Brooke just graduated college to become an athletic physical therapist. Remy, is an athlete. Do you see where I’m going? No? Remy hires Brooke for her services. THERAPY services, you perv! And even though Brooke has the hots for him and knows business and pleasure shouldn’t mix she accepts the job because he is just so hot!

KHart dancing

And because he is sooo flipping romantic!

“Your name,” he growls, panting, his eyes wild on me.
“Uh, Brooke.”
“Brooke what?” He snaps out, his nostrils flaring.
His animal magnetism is so powerful I think he just took my voice. -page 98

 

KHart roll my eyes

Personally I would have busted out my can of mace and then kicked him in the nuts but, dagnabit Remy is just too damn sexy for Brooke to notice stranger/stalker danger!

KHart too good looking

From here things get frustrating…err I mean MORE frustrating. Remy is in the middle of a 3 month-long “boxing tour” and so, as his new employee, is Brooke. Three months. Three months of cutesy flirting, bickering, and enough sexual tension to piss off a nun. Three months of listening to Brooke literally (yes, the real definition of literally) beg Remy to have his way with her. I’m talking flat-out

“So you either come get me tonight to make love to me, or you leave me alone so we can both rest.”
I expect this threat to elicit more of a reaction. He’s a man. This is an open invitation to uncomplicated sex… -page 127

You are absolutely right Brooke! How dare Remmy attempt to clean up his slut bag ways and demand that you know him before he “takes” you?! What kind of douchebag would make such a ludicrous demand?!

KHart Die bitch

I mean obviously Remy is a selfish and sick bastard. Oh wait

I’m so desperate I rake my nails down his arms as I rub my sex against his hard thigh. Sensations shoot off. I whimper, feeling the coiled tension in his shoulders, the smooth velvet of his chest as he devours my mouth, until, the continued feel of my sex brushing against the rock-hard quad muscle of his thigh makes my insides clench and tighten, and I explode. – page 146
…(further down the page)…
When I’m done, he brushes my hair back and looks positively intimate. His Voice. Intimate. Mild with tenderness.
…(just a bit more)…
I. Hate. Him.

err?

KHart Die today

 

So he gives you the first orgasm you’ve had in months (maybe longer), AND he does so in a completely selfless manner, AND he has the nerve to make sure you enjoyed said orgasm? Yeah. He’s the one with the problems here. Obviously. Sadly, from here things only got worse for me.

Remy gets a bit “speedy” sometimes, and I know a lot of readers got to this “revelation” and were all like “ohhh I understand now! All is forgiven!” but we all know that I like to hold my grudges. See Remy was a little like this

KHart mad sad glad

 

 

And while his mood swings weren’t something I enjoyed they truly didn’t define why I really just didn’t like him. His macho “don’t use your brain, I have mine” attitude sealed that deal for him long before the big reveal.

I guess you could say, the bottom line is that I didn’t enjoy this book even half as much as the rest of the blogger community. I would say I can see why some people were heads over heels in love with it, but that would be a lie, and lying is bad. The writing was choppy at times, the characters made me want to blow things up and the plot went from “so bad it’s funny” to wow that’s “original”.

I really had high hopes for Real and while it really sucks that it didn’t work for me, at least I was able to have a little fun. And if you want a chance to read and judge Real for yourself keep your eyes on twitter today (Saturday 10-19-13) because there will be a flash giveaway!

*p.s. for a bonus entry into the twitter flash giveaway tweet #CrotchButton to me!*

More about Octavia

I'm Octavia and I'm awesome (some days at least)! I'm also a fangirl, book nerd, movie addict, lover of ice cream, and mama duck! Don't be the 80's to my disco.

19 thoughts on “Real by Katy Evans

  1. Megan

    I love your reviews. They make me laugh like a crazy person. 😀
    Megan recently posted…Review: Curtsies and ConspiraciesMy Profile

    Reply

    1. Octavia

      Aww yay! I’m happy you enjoy them! 😀

      Reply

  2. Jenna

    I read and reviewed this one last month and I felt pretty much the same way.
    Jenna recently posted…Review: Dead Girls Don’t Lie by Jennifer Shaw WolfMy Profile

    Reply

    1. Octavia

      Ugh, it was so frustrating because people kept tweeting “it’ll get better, don’t judge it yet” to me and I made it to the end and was like “what the hell was that mess?!”. O_O

      Reply

  3. Meagan @ Reviewing Wonderland

    Ah I have missed your humor and quick wit Octavia! 🙂 I must Mack it a point to come back here more often.

    I have seen this book all over the place, but never had any inclination to read it. Now that is solidified. For that I thank you.
    Meagan @ Reviewing Wonderland recently posted…Silent Echo by Elisa Freilich {Blog Tour}My Profile

    Reply

    1. Octavia

      Why thank you ma’am! I figure if the book was that horrible the least I deserve it to have fun with the review lol! 😉

      Reply

  4. Christine @ Oh, Chrys!

    This review had me laughing and rolling in bed. The quotes that she shared and the Hart gifs killed it. I don’t see what is so attractive about a guy treating you like nothing. Sigh. The whole books sounds so has-been.
    Christine @ Oh, Chrys! recently posted…Book Review: Fall for Anything by Courtney SummersMy Profile

    Reply

    1. Octavia

      It was! I thought it would be a easy breezy NA read. But this was just HORRIBLE! At least I got a few laughs. 😉

      Reply

  5. Leanne @ Literary Excursion

    First off, I haven’t been by your blog in wayyy too long and I’m sorry for that Octavia! Work + horror event = no free time, you know how that goes. 🙁 I like the 3D book look you implemented, and your new graphics! Especially <3 the texture and drop shadow on your Reading After Dark banner. Everything is all cute. ^_^

    Also omg I love Kevin Hart! He's so flippin funny… and now I want to go watch stand up.

    Honestly I would never have picked up this book because of the cover or the blurb, and while I'm sad you didn't enjoy it, I'm also glad. Because your I-hate-this-damn-book reviews are HILARIOUS. I really can't believe some books even make it to publishing. What's even more baffling is that people will love some books no matter how trashy or awful they are. Makes me think they are living *solely* vicariously through books and have no concept of how people work. Psht, amateurs.
    Leanne @ Literary Excursion recently posted…Guest Post: Best Halloween Books for 2013My Profile

    Reply

    1. Octavia

      I know you’ve been crazy busy, so no worries! And thank you! I’ve been messing with photoshop and illustrator and decided to try some new stuff for the blog. 🙂

      Isn’t he?! I couldn’t think of a funnier way of sharing my thoughts than through his tiny yet funny self! And believe me, your intuition was right! But at least you got a few laughs via the review. 😉

      Reply

  6. Lectus

    Since you have Kevin Hart there, have you seen the trailer of his new movie?
    Lectus recently posted…Carrie the movieMy Profile

    Reply

    1. Octavia

      Yep! And I’m so darn excited to see it!!

      Reply

  7. Julie S.

    This was absolutely hysterical and awesome! I love your reviews 🙂
    Julie S. recently posted…Fall Book Extravaganza GiveawayMy Profile

    Reply

    1. Octavia

      Thank you! I had a lot of fun with this one. 😀
      Octavia recently posted…Unbreathable by Hafsah LaziafMy Profile

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  8. Rose

    hilarious and basically spot on. Love your reviews!

    Reply

    1. Octavia

      lol thank you! 😀
      Octavia recently posted…Unbreathable by Hafsah LaziafMy Profile

      Reply

  9. Michelle @ In Libris Veritas

    I saved this review for a day I needed a laugh, lol! Thank you Octavia. 😛
    Michelle @ In Libris Veritas recently posted…The Witching Hour Blog HopMy Profile

    Reply

    1. Octavia

      lol! Happy to give you a laugh!

      Reply

  10. 2013 End of Year Book Survey! | Read.Sleep.Repeat.

    […] throw in all of the gifs! My favorite negative review I’ve written this year has to be for Real by Katy Evans. After that 1.5 star book I deserved a good laugh, and that review was the perfect […]

    Reply

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